Cheese Puffs and Questions

How do you worship God when you're angry?

How do I accept the love of Christ when I don't believe in love?

How do I look upon the Lord when I'm too scared to move?

How do I encourage and support others when I'm so broken and weary?

These are the questions I mull over while eating cheese puffs and sipping hot tea at 1 o clock in the morning.

There are Biblical answers to each of these, but I'm just going to be honest and say that it's not helping me right now. I need a personalized message whispered in my ear. I need the hand of peace and warmth laid upon my shoulder.

Good grief, I just need a hug.

But from someone I trust. Which is no one.

I have felt the physical comfort of Christ my love before, and experienced the freedom of opening my heart to Him in complete trust, but I can't help but hold back now.

How many times can you be hurt and shoved down before you just stay there?

I will believe the promises of God. They are true. They have never failed. So I'll believe and wait for my emotions to eventually catch up.

Lord, heal my brokenness. Burn your seal upon my heart and whisper in my ear that I am yours. Remind me that I am loved by you, cherished by you, CREATED by you to be pleased by you, satisfied by you, enchanted and captivated by you. Fill my heart with praise and adoration, and fulfill the desires of my heart, Oh God. Be tender and gentle with me now, being patient with my disbelief and doubt. Correct my sinful ways and call me out into the wilderness and romance me. As I relent from this war within me, God rise up and be my strength. Lead me beside still waters and green pastures and comfort me continually as I praise you, Oh Lord. My love. Oh How you love.

Amen.