I went to a fall retreat over the weekend. It was pretty random that I got to go; A leader of the Navs on Campus just texted like 3 days before the event and I decided on a whim that it would be a good idea. I've just been a little bummed lately, so I thought it would be a great chance for some rejuvenation and all that stuff that usually comes with church retreats.
It was cold. Like, super cold. But I met some really great people and felt totally welcomed and at home among them. I was worried that I would feel awkward the entire time, but I didn't at all. I really love that about the Navs. They were all so genuine. So we had speakers and worship, played underground church (SO FUN), and did a service project. It was a really nice weekend, so I'm really glad that I went.
On Sunday morning we had two hours for what they call ETAWG, which stands for Extended Time Alone With God. I was a little bit worried at first about it being two hours, because that seems so long. I was honestly worried that I was going to fall asleep! But we began, and I got alone with my God. I have learned in the past couple of years just how sweet the Secret Place with God is. There's just something about getting alone with your Creator that satisfies the deepest parts of your soul.
I started off by praying that God would reveal Himself to me. All weekend I listened to the words of people who were on fire for God and just thought to myself, "Man...I just know so little of this God that created me..." I felt like I needed to go read books and study the Bible harder and then I realized that I could search the whole world and never find God. What I've experienced in life is that the harder I try to achieve or attain God, the farther I push Him away. It's in the moments when I'm quiet, still, and maybe a little bit broken that He comes and washes over me. In those moments I see who He is and learn more about Him. So I started by praying that God would come to me as I waited upon Him and read His word.
Oh boy, did He come.
I've read through Hosea before and loved it. But this time there was just something different about it. I read the first two chapters, and let me tell you....they're mind blowing.
In the first chapter something really scary happens. Israel has turned from God and He eventually says, "You are not my people, and I will not be your God." When I read that, I just stopped in sorrow. My heart was so sad. Probably because I relate so much to Israel and when I see the pain that they caused the God who so dearly loved them, I just want to weep because I know that I've caused Him that same pain. So here I am, just swallowed by sadness. But wait.
I should've known.
God never stops where we think He does.
In the VERY NEXT VERSE God says the unthinkable. The inconceivable. He says, "In the place where it was said to them, 'You are not My people,' There is shall be said to them, 'You are sons of the living God.'" (Hosea 1:10)
WHAT IS THAT. Oh, but just wait. It gets even better. You think God is incredible for calling a depraved people "sons of the living God"? We think that's the end. That He forgave them and will just wait for them to turn back. Well. We're wrong.
I will punish her
For the days of the Baals to which she burned incense.
She decked herself with her earrings and jewelry,
And went after her lovers;
But Me she forgot,” says the Lord.
He breaks her. I have seen this happen several times in my own life. I chase after the loves of my heart, trying to find satisfaction in people, things, and activities. I forget about my God. How could we EVER forget about this God that saved us while we were ENEMIES of Him (Romans 5:10)? But God is a jealous God! In order to satisfy us in the deepest places, He must strip us of our idols. You may think that's cruel or unjust, but please....just keep reading.
“Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
Will bring her into the wilderness,
And speak comfort to her.
I will give her her vineyards from there,
And the Valley of Achor as a door of hope;
She shall sing there,
As in the days of her youth,
As in the day when she came up from the land of Egypt.
“And it shall be, in that day,”
Says the Lord,
“That you will call Me ‘My Husband,’
And no longer call Me ‘My Master,’
....
I will betroth you to Me forever;
Yes, I will betroth you to Me
In righteousness and justice,
In lovingkindness and mercy;
I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness,
And you shall know the Lord.
(Hosea 2:14-15, 19-20)
Wow. I'm just letting this sink in. What sweeter love story exists in all of the earth? That the Holy, Most Worthy God of the Universe would not only save us, redeem us, and renew us...but that He would take us for Himself to be His....bride.
OH MY SOUL, HOW HE LOVES.
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