We're Measuring the Wrong Thing

I'm a Social Work major at University of Arkansas. It's the perfect major for me - I identify so deeply with the mission of social work and really feel like it's what I'm supposed to do. The main goal of social work is to provide all humans with resources - emotional, physical, etc. - that they need to have the life they want. It's about using my unique connections, skills, and gifts to provide someone else with opportunities that they didn't even know existed. It's about provided support and encouragement to broken, hopeless people who are often alone. It's about letting people know that they are never truly on their own. That's something I can devote my life to.

But I have a bone to pick with Social Work.

Actually, I have a bone to pick with the world.

The one thing that I hear over and over again in my social work classes is that certain privileges set you up for success. This is so true. If you have your own car, if you have an education, if you have a family that believes in you, you're chances of "success" SKYROCKET. So, as a profession, Social Workers want to help help people who are at a natural disadvantage because they lack these things.

So, the ultimate goal for people is.....success. I always hesitate to use this word because I honestly hate it. It's a filthy, sticky, deceptive word. It promises happiness but delivers emptiness. It wears a mask of prosperity while devouring its victims with whispers of discontent and jealousy.

So this is my beef with social work and with social work and with the world: we're measuring the wrong thing. We measure quality of life with a ruler of "success." Sometimes we even try to make the ruler look really nice by saying success includes family, friends, and community. But personally, I think that even the best ruler that the world has come up with is a cheap con of what life should really be measured by.

Matthew 6:33 says "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

One thing I did not realize when choosing Social Work was that, though in my mind my religion fits perfectly with the mission of Social Work in a unique way, there is really no room for religion in the workplace. Well, that's what they say anyway. As a social worker I am ethically bound to keep my beliefs to myself, to protect others and preserve diversity.

But when you have a treasure worth more than gold, how can you keep it to yourself?

I've been thinking a lot lately about how the world would be perfect if every single person had a relationship with God and sought after the kingdom of God and his righteousness. Oh, but I guess that's how the world was actually created in the first place, huh? And I guess that's what heaven will be like.

Anyway, the point is, I can provide someone with all of the resources in the world and help them create a successful, happy life but it will truly never be enough. Because, as I've blogged about before, when we chase our own joy, it ALWAYS eludes us. Jesus said to keep our life we must lose it.

I truly believe that the field of Social Work would CHANGE THE WORLD if they came at it from a Christian perspective. Instead of teaching people to chase success, teaching them about their God-given kingdom mission and showing them how to seek God! Because is a life with a family and a big house but a huge gaping hole in your heart really successful? So instead of chasing physical and emotional comfort as an end-goal, we should use these things to make the race after the kingdom of God a little easier for our brothers and sisters, with the end prize being God himself. And then we would find TRUE success, true delight, true joy, and true treasure.

"Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven."

Oh, how you love us.

BOYZBOYZBOYZBOYZBOYZOMGBOYZ

I just realized that my last post had a lot of indirect talk of "love" and stuff. So I wanted to share how my views of love have changed this year.

If you look way back to the beginning of this blog, it started at the beginning of my freshman year. I was new to college, single, and excited about the potential of finding my husband at college. Boy crazy, you might call it. So any time I met a new boy I was immediately on the phone with my BFF Hannah, assessing and analyzing whether or not he was my future husband.

This year was marked by relationship failures. Most of them weren't so bad, just little things that never amounted to anything or ended up not working out. But some of them were really awful. And painful. And messy.

So I'm on the other side of it all, still single, and looking forward to keeping it that way for a while. But it's not because of all of the failures that occurred this year in relationships. It's not because I've lost hope in guys and think they're all a buncha toolz with no brain. On the contrary, I actually have a greater belief in true love and the ability of Christian men to rise as leaders and become God-serving Christian husbands.

Yet I feel less urgency to find my husband than I have probably in my entire life. It doesn't really even matter to me if marriage is in my future.

So, to say the least, my feelings and thoughts have changed in the past year. I'm so at peace with where I am and I mean, how could I not be so incredibly filled when looking upon such a wonderful savior?

His glory is my joy. Forever. <3
(Don't worry, I still love gawking at Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice...I haven't changed THAT much)

Not About Me

The biggest source of anxiety for me is built around the idea that the ultimate value of my life is based on just doing "what makes me happy."

I totally understand why this phrase has become so popular. If you let other people control your life and never just step out and do what you feel is right, you'll probably have some regrets. So, why did this mantra leave me feeling so full of anxiety and fear?

So when we think of this idea of doing what makes us happy or listening to our heart, a few things come to mind. First of all, love. Love who you want to love, take risks, marry who your heart tells you is the one. Career. Find something fulfilling, be successful, rise to the top, follow your dreams, make it happen.

I'll stop there. You can't go wrong with these things, right? I mean, that's pretty much the lesson behind every Hallmark and Lifetime movie ever created. Find the perfect guy, do what you love, lalala rainbows puppies babies OMG.

Welp. This is where it gets kind of weird because I think I realized that the world's been lying to us.

I mean, maybe it's just me, but this whole "Do what makes you happy" thing has time and time again left me feeling like a failure. Like, it should be so simple. Just choose what you feel is right and chase after it and you'll end up with a really great story about perseverance and love.

But what happens when you mess up? Like, what if you're totally crushing on this guy and you're just too scared to take a risk and before you know it, the window of opportunity is closed, never to return again? Or what if you finally get the interview you've been waiting for pretty much your entire life but your alarm doesn't go off and you don't have time to take a shower and all you can think about is yesterday's mascara that is totally smudged all around your eyes so you basically bomb the interview and destroy all of your life's dreams?

Because let's be honest, you don't always get a second chance like they always do in Lifetime movies. The guy doesn't always realize "what he's missing," coming back with a grand display of adoration to sweep you off your feet once and for all. In fact, it's downright rare.

So if none of these things seem to be working out for you, are you a failure at life? Even if the world tries to say, "Oh no, of course you're not a failure," it looks to me as if it's really shouting yes.

So I start to think about how I can be happy, what I can chase after. Sometimes I even say things that sound really good and convincing like, "I'll volunteer more" or "I'll read my Bible more." But ultimately those things still leave room for emptiness and feelings of failure. Because some days I can't convince myself that reading the Bible will make me happy and some days I feel like my volunteer efforts are shallow and in vain.

Is there a solution? Is there a point we're all missing? I think there is.

Maybe life ISN'T about my happiness. Maybe the ultimate value of my life is NOT based upon how well I chose everything in order to create a life that I was satisfied with. Maybe it's not about avoiding pain and maybe it's not even about me....at all....

The most comforting realization I've coming to lately is that life is about giving God glory. Life in general is about God. God is the giver of life and all of creation testifies of his grandeur. My life was not made to be enjoyed by me, but it was made to magnify the goodness of a holy and perfect God.

The fact that this realization brings such peace and comfort to me is actually really surprising. But maybe, just maybe it points to another fact that this is what I was CREATED for. I wasn't just made and plopped onto earth to try to make the best of what I'm given and be "happy." I was specifically created to be used as a vessel to magnify the Most High God.

So when I have thoughts of the potential of being single the rest of my life, I now realize that it doesn't matter because my life isn't about my relationship status. It's not about my job. It's not about how good of a person I am or how happy I am. It's about looking upon and savoring my Beautiful King and doing whatever it takes - not to make me happy - but to make much of Him. And the funny thing about doing what you were CREATED to do....It ends up with a deep, deep satisfaction and joy that the best Hallmark movie cannot capture.

So I lay down the idols of my happiness willingly. They have brought me anxiety and fear. And I trade them for an eternity of worship of the one true king. My King. Eternal communion with a God that has ravished my heart and left me breathless in awe of His majesty. The fact that He allows me to be a part of the symphony of praise surrounding Him makes me want to shout from the rooftop, "Oh, How He Loves!"

How deeply and well He does love.