Why I Wear Make-up

     

                             


Most people would probably say that it's a little drastic to explain my reasoning behind wearing make-up as my fallen, broken way of attempting to be God.

But really, that is why I wear make-up.

I've been thinking about this a lot. I got pretty upset one day when one of my friends said something about how girls would be better without makeup. I wasn't sure why it upset me so deeply, so I prayed and asked God to reveal to me the deeper, hidden places of my own heart - the inner workings and brokenness that manifest themselves through tears that I don't understand.

My Father spoke truth into my heart that day.

There's something in me that desires to be loved. Most would say that's a pretty innocent and natural longing - but not so much, really. Because I don't JUST desire to be loved. I desire to be adored. Still don't think that's bad?

Okay. I desire to be worshipped.

This is what I realized. I refuse to go out without makeup because I refuse to go out without someone saying, "Wow, you have beautiful eye lashes!" I refuse to go out without being made up because it would be an injustice for someone to think I wasn't pretty.

What if someone realized that I am not God?

Oh wait.....

I'm not.

Okay, I know at this point you're probably raising your eyebrows going, "Whoa, now! You're taking this to a completely ridiculous level." And maybe I am. But I realized something terrifying inside myself that day - something dark and dirty, and something very broken. I realized an inward tendency to gain approval in the sight of men (and women) based on the visual aesthetics of my face. I realized that I wanted to cover up every "flaw" so that people would think I'm perfect. And the Bible makes clear that what manifests itself on the outside is what's really taking place on the inside (Luke 6:45). So if I'm trying to cover up my flaws on the outside, there's probably a good dose of trying to ignore my flaws inwardly. There is a part of me that will not accept the truth that I am not worthy of worship. I see my own plainness and try to trick myself into thinking that I'm actually supernaturally extraordinary and perfect.

Let's cut the act.

I have pimples. So do you. My pore are the size of Mount Rushmore and I have the deepest crows feet wrinkles you've ever seen on a 19-year-old. My eyebrows have a mind of their own and my top lip isn't big enough. This is who I am. When I cover these things up, it's in an attempt to HIDE them from people. I want you to believe that I never break out because I'm calm, cool, and collected and have perfect skin complexion. I groom my eyebrows, cover my eyelashes with mascara, and plop some plumper on that top lip so that you look at me and think, "Wow, God blessed her and adorned her with beauty."

It. Is. Fake. Literally, it is so fake! I AM SO FLAWED. I have pimples and wrinkles and thick eyebrows. So why am I trying to make you believe that I don't? And why do we practically demand others to cover up their flaws as well? As if it is a disgrace to humanity to uncover our imperfections. Who are we kidding? None of us have a perfect face, but honestly, I think that makes us even more beautiful.

Stop wearing makeup for a while. Stop freaking out and just try it, okay? After a while, you'll get used to the look of your face without make-up and start to recognize the natural beauty that lies underneath all that foundation. Unaltered skin has a sort of glow to it. No, not the sun-kissed, bronzed glow. But a warm, inviting glow that lends honesty and truth. Yes, there's a sort of beauty to a made-up face, but it's the kind of beauty that's hard to look at, to be quite honest. The kind of beauty that makes you feel uncomfortable and like you're missing a mark. But then there is a natural, unaltered beauty of a face just the way God created it. The kind of beauty that's easy to look upon. It doesn't mean that your face is nice and clear and symmetrical. It means there's a certain undeniable joy and honest goodness overflowing that comes from a contended heart in Christ.

Stop believing the lies of this world, Daughter of God.

Stop buying into the deception of the fashion industry, oh Child of the Most High.

For jewels, fine clothing, and make-up cannot match the great beauty of the spirit that God has placed inside of you. He has created you to embody the "imperishable beauty of a quite and gentle spirit" (1 Peter 3:4). And that is "VERY PRECIOUS IN THE EYES OF GOD" (1Peter 3:4).

Very rarely in the Bible does it directly say that something is precious to God. But look at this. WHAT TREASURE WE HAVE FOUND IN CHRIST. We don't need worldly beauty - in fact, we shouldn't want it! Because in Christ, we put on the adornment of mercy and grace. We wear the jewels of forgiveness and humility. We paint on the make-up of kindness and servanthood. Worldly beauty is nothing but deception to us, for it is a cover. We can freely reveal who we truly are because we don't need the praises of men. We don't seek the worship of strangers who think we're beautiful. We don't strive for the attention of passers-by. For the King and Creator of this Universe has named us as very precious in his sight because of our GODLY CHARACTER.

What freedom we have found in our Maker! What love we have discovered from our Father! Yes, you may seem plain next to painted faces and fashion queens, but your spirit is what attracts others to you - and that is NOT plain! Forget the chase after fading beauty and pursue the unfading beauty of a quiet and gentle spirit! Your Father has created you to have that spirit and He finds it PRECIOUS.

Oh, how the Father sees past the imperfections of our flesh. Oh, how he adorns us with grace! Oh my soul, How He Loves.

Doubts

This post is somewhat old. I just typed it out about a month ago and kept it on my computer. Here are some of the thoughts I've been sifting through and searching out over the past few weeks. <3 


I've had an unshakeable faith my entire life.

Until now.

Which, I've discovered is due to the fact that my faith wasn't in what I thought it was in. I thought my faith was in God - in the God of the Bible - Yahweh.

Eh, nope. My faith wasn't in God. My faith was in myself. I worshipped myself. I had spurts of wanting to follow God, but in the end I did what I wanted, pursued what I wanted, and ignored any conviction that came my way. I wanted to be a good person, but that was just so people would praise and worship....ME.

Slowly I've started to realize this over the past few months. And so I've been making little changes - like not trying to entice people with my appearance, not thinking of myself more highly than others, trying to give people what they ask and be selfless and all that stuff that we say we're supposed to do but never actually do.

And then I dropped out of college.

And the next day, I woke up.

And I thought....I have NEVER questioned my belief in God. I've never questioned my belief that there IS a God. And what if I'm wrong? And what if I'm changing my life based on something that isn't even true?

Is there a God?

Who is He? Is He the God of the Bible? Yahweh? If so, who is Jesus? Is He God? Does He really have authority to forgive sins and offer eternal life like he says he does? Why do I believe the Bible, anyway?

How am I supposed to live? Am I supposed to follow some specific rules or are there just general guidelines? Can I do whatever I want? What DO I want?

I guess you could say that I'm having a slight identity crisis.

So, let me fill you in on what's going through my head.

I don't know who God is.

I don't know why I'm here. I don't know what my purpose is. I don't know if I even have a real purpose. I don't know if someone is watching what I do and keeping a record of it. I don't know if I was created or if I just poofed into existence. I don't know if Jesus was/is actually God. I don't know if the Bible is true.

But there are a few things I DO know.

I know that there is truth. I may not know what it is, but I know truth exists. I know that my relationships are real, and that they matter. I know that people matter. I know that the commands in the Bible (whether it's "true" or not) are good. I know that there is no better way to live than the way Jesus laid out for us to live. I know that this Kingdom Jesus talks about is a kingdom that I wish I could be a part of. I know that living justly, loving mercy and walking humbly is a wonderful (but hard) way to live. I know that helping the helpless makes me feel alive. I know that doing "wrong" makes me feel dead. And I know that joy is never far off and depression never lasts.

I know that no matter who you are - good or evil, smart or dumb, rich or poor, selfless or greedy, alone or surrounded, young or old - you are allowed joy and pleasure. The great majesty of the mountains is there for anyone to behold. The rush of a river or the ocean waves is out there for anyone to hear. The softness of the breeze can be felt by each of us.

And if it's a God who created those things and allows us - ALL of us - to experience them.....

then Oh my, How He Loves.