Love Your Enemies

When Jesus tells us to love our enemies, surely He doesn't mean the pot-head who cheated on your sister with 6 different girls and ruined 3 of your family's cars while your parents provided a place for him to stay and food to eat just to have him turn around and get your sister in trouble with the law with an impending felony, right?

I'm not kidding, this is a real situation. With ZERO exaggeration, believe it or not.

So here's a hard question: Does Jesus call me to love him?

It's funny because when I see these words in my Bible to love my enemy (Matthew 5:44), the image I have of enemy is someone who hates me for no reason. Someone who has done a million bad things to me. Someone who has stolen from me or hurt me.

I don't think of the guy who tried to ruin my sister's life.

I don't think of the woman who unashamedly stares at my other sister who is disabled.

I don't think of the man who tells my dad off after he refereed a game over one stupid call - my dad who is the most honest, wise man I know. My dad who breaks his back and gave up his dream to be our provider, caregiver, and supporter.

I don't think of people I've seen who ceaselessly take my mom for granted and disrespect her despite the fact that she has sacrificed for them and has forgiven them an infinite amount of times without them even saying sorry.

But these are my enemies. It's easy to love people who hurt me, but when someone hurts or disrespects my family, an all consuming anger rises within me that begs to be set free in the form of physical, verbal, or virtual retribution.

I just want to tell someone off.

But is this what it means to love? Is this what Jesus means by love your enemy?

This is an EXTREMELY hard question for me.

Because I feel like if I am not hateful to these people, I am condoning what they do. I feel like I am the one disrespecting my family.

Maybe this is where the bit about hating your mother and father comes in...

"If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple."
Luke 14:26

This is really hard to swallow. I don't like it. It feels wrong. It goes against everything the world has taught me since I was born. 

These are the moments when my faith is truly tested. I started to type a very firm, defensive message to this bozo who messed with my sister, and I instantly felt convicted. The world tells us that this is a fine thing to do. In fact, it tells us that this is the RIGHT thing to do. But really, this is the opposite of right. And many people look at these words of Jesus and completely twist them to fit their comfortable lives so that they can hold onto their pride and never have to actually reduce themselves to the level of LOVING evil people. 

Wake up, world. The words of Jesus are pretty clear.

These are the kinds of people we are called to love. And NO, your attempt at telling them off and calling it "tough love" does not count. There is a time for rebuking, but when it's done with an attitude of anger and followed with the cone of silence, a death glare, or a punch in the face, IT IS NOT LOVE, OKAY?!

I still have to work through what this means. I don't know how to treat people like this. People who obviously have a lapse in any kind of moral judgment. People who seem to have mean spirits and cold hearts. But what I do know is that I am not called to judge them. Even many Christians would disagree with me on this, but I believe the words of Jesus were clear, and I have no intention of twisting them - because every time I've done that in the past, I've looked back with regret and despair. 

So, how do I love people like this? Well...I don't know. I think it takes practice. I know it won't be easy. I know it will take FAITH in God and TRUST in His commands. But I also know that those who seek the kingdom first and its RIGHTEOUSNESS will have worldly "necessities" added to them (Matthew 6:33). So I will trust in the word of God and follow Him even when it's hard and I don't like what it requires of me. I will trust that this is for His glory and that it will bring me joy in the end. 

Will you join me in being radical about following Christ? Will you join me in loving the unlovable? I'm not talking about the dirty, poor and forgotten; I'm talking about the disgusting, rotten, filthy, and corrupted. Because how much better are we, really? Because the Bible tells us that even our best acts are filthy rags before a Holy and Perfect God (Isaiah 64:6). But still God loves us with a love immeasurable and a grace inconceivable. Oh, that He loved us while we were still His enemies!! (Romans 5:10) 



Oh....   How He Loves.

Interesting

Peace that Surpasses Understanding

I remember a period of my life when I woke up every day with a piercing anxiety burning in my chest. I remember feeling crippled even when everything in my life was exactly how I wanted it. It didn't matter how "great" my life was, I couldn't enjoy it. Nothing was satisfying and every day was a never-ending battle.

I'm happy to call those days memories now.

Funny thing is, during this period of my life, I surrendered my life to God. I had believed in Him my entire life, but never gave Him all I had. But when I had nothing left to fill me, I did the only thing I knew to do - surrender to the God who created me, who "loved me and gave himself for me" (Galations 2:20). 

Can I just tell you that since that day that I surrendered, I have never felt the crippling pain of that hopeless anxiety again? 

Sure, I've cried. Okay, I've BAWLED. But there's something different about the way I mourn now. It's like, in the midst of uncertainty, fear, hurt, and sadness, there's something deep, deep within me that never runs out of joy. 

It's like....it's like a fountain.

A fountain... 

Interesting.

In John 7 Jesus says 

           “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.'"

I have found this to be absolutely true. Even when everything feels wrong and I feel powerless to make it right, I never feel hopeless. I have a constant sense of God's sovereignty and the promise that He will work all things to my good (Romans 8:28). 

He offers this to EVERYONE. Anyone who would come may drink from the fountain - and never thirst again (John 4:14). 

Come drink from the fountain today. Your trials and tribulations won't disappear. Your tears won't run completely dry. Your heart won't become steel. But new life will spring from within you and a fountain will begin to well up from deep inside as the Peace of God which surpasses all human understanding takes residence in your heart (Philippians 4:7). 

His love will captivate you. Because Oh, How He Loves.

A Mission While on Mission

I've been in Romania for 4 days.

It's an absolutely beautiful country and I've enjoyed every minute of it so far.

I'm staying with a couple that moved to the country with a heart for children and for following God's voice. Their main mission is to pour out their love to the children of Romania - to the underprivileged, the orphaned, the Gypsie, and the disabled. They show no discrimination but simply have a desire to be the hand and feet of a God who, as the song goes, "loves all the little children of the world."

However, while they live out the mission God called them to (and sacrificing quite a lot, I might add), they have another mission that's effects will long outlast their presence in Romania. Though this second mission is not stated outright, it is evident in their everyday lives and has inspired me and got me thinking. This mission is to demonstrate to the people around them - no matter where they are - how to love the way Jesus called us to love 2,000 years ago.

In their little village, they live out the Golden Rule. The other day, when a drunken man cut his arm and was tracking blood everywhere he went, the people of the village said to let him die. But this couple saw an opportunity to care for someone who had no one to care for him. When they returned, they remarked that the only reason they would ever be hated in the village was for something like that.

Oh, to be able to say that the only reason people would have for not liking me is that I helped others that they thought were undeserving!

I'm blown away by this (and mind you that this is absolutely NOT the only example of the way they love, just one of many examples). The reason I'm blown away by it is because this was the exact mission of Jesus. And he was hated for that very reason. People saw him help those that society deemed as unworthy - the gypsies, the drunken men, and the orphans of his time. He showed grace to prostitutes, dined with tax collectors, and washed the feet of fishermen.

So, no matter what mission God has sent you on, there is a common mission we should all have. To show love to those who are considered worthless. And to teach others to do the same. To live as an example of Christ's perfect love in a bitter, broken world. Just like this couple in Romania.

And for the record, showing Christ's love is not just "paying it forward" at the McDonalds drive thru. Showing CHRIST'S love is making yourself a servant to your self-promoting, porn-addicted boss who's got a serious attitude problem. Showing Christ's love is refusing to gossip about the girl who spread a rumor about you that isn't true, but instead encouraging her with kind words and thoughtful actions. Showing Christ's love is forgiving the man or woman that abused you. Loving the unlovable. The ones that the world says you have a justified reason to hate.

And the time to start is now. Stop thinking about how well you'll love others when you get enough money to be a full-time missionary in India. Stop depending on your future plans to open a Christian pregnancy clinic for underprivileged moms to give you credit in the "loving" department. Because if you can't love now, where you are, don't count on being able to love in this way later. This couple was loving radically long before God ever called them to Romania. In the corporate world of England, they were showing forgiveness and love to selfish, back-stabbing co-workers and bosses in ways that baffled these people and left them in awe of this nonsensical mercy they were shown. This was years before Romania. Show yourself worthy of the calling you've been given NOW. The one you're in right now. God does have a plan for your future, but He's also given you a mission right for this very moment.

So whether you're on mission in Africa or in Wal-mart's home office, there is one mission at hand - to love the way Jesus loved and still loves. We say that so often, but miss the gravity of that. If you love the way Jesus loved, you will NOT be liked by all people. In fact, some will hate you. It also won't be fun, as you're require to slay your pride daily and make nothing of your selfish desires. But the reward is priceless. To commune with a holy God is the highest satisfaction and joy in existence.

So go live in mission. And pour out every ounce of love you have and be filled by the One who's love never runs out, because Oh, How He Loves.

Lose Control

I learned something very important - but also very alarming - about myself this year.

There are certain "truths" in my mind that define the way I live. I guess this is called a worldview. Some of these truths are actually true, but others of them are complete lies. I usually recognize the lies because they leave me feeling hopeless and alone, filled with anxiety. These are never feelings that come with the truth of God. However, this year, I discovered a deep-seeded belief within me that left me feeling anxious and afraid, but the more I thought about it, I discovered that I still believed it was true. And yes, to this day, I believe it is true.

So what do I do with this belief that has proven itself true, but brings grief and fear into my life?

Well, let's start with what this belief is and how I came to believe it.

It started with rejection. There have been so many times in my life where I have had a friend that I loved so much and longed for them to love me, too. But it seemed like the more I cared, the less they did. The more grace I showed them, the more they took advantage of me and abused me. It seemed like every time I put my whole heart into a relationship - romantic or not - I came out feeling alone and abandoned. Rejected.

So, eventually, over time I learned this simple truth:

Whoever cares less in a relationship...has control.

It's a very straightforward and somewhat obvious truth. If you care less than the other person, you have nothing to lose. They will do what you want them to and you will always feel like the one being pursued. If you care less, you don't have to worry about rejection. You're the one doing the rejecting.

I felt this deeply in my heart for several years and wasn't able to materialize it in words until last year. I realized it while in a fight with one of my best friends. It was EASIER for me to harden my heart and not care. To say, "whatever" and let them go because I could find someone just like them. But something about that didn't feel right. I discovered this belief I had and immediately condemned it as a lie. But the more I thought about it, I realized that there actually is a very important truth in this.

I do believe this truth. If you care less, you have more control.

If you care more, you lose control and make yourself vulnerable to hurt, loneliness, and anxiety.

I am a woman. I hate giving up control.

But something within me stirred. I discovered this truth, yet I did not truly desire to stop caring in relationships. I remember having a conversation with my mentor and telling her that I would rather put my whole heart into a relationship and get hurt than harden my heart and having many passion-less, empty friendships.

Because relationships are not about controlling someone. In fact, they are about giving up our selfish desires in order to encourage and walk with someone. You cannot truly care for someone while trying to maintain complete control.

So, yes, what I discovered I still consider to be truth. And yes, it sometimes brings me great fear and anxiety to think of the possibility of pouring out all of my love to someone who will turn the other way and forget me when things get rough. To think of loving someone through all their quirks and mistakes but then having them reject me for my own short-comings.

However, it was not this truth that mattered. It was what I did with it that mattered. And it is what YOU do with it that matters.

Do we hear this truth and decide to harden our hearts to the world in order to preserve ourselves? Or do we follow the example of our Great Lover, Jesus Christ, and make ourselves vulnerable to rejection in order to love fully and completely, holding nothing back?

I want to love like Christ loves. I want to pour myself out and expect nothing in return.

So what fills us when we do (and we will) face this rejection? God himself. Oh, how familiar He must be with the pain of rejection. How many times have I left Him to pursue a cheap imitation of his goodness? So, when you feel lonely and abandoned by the people you give everything to, run to the Great Provider, the One who never stops giving, the One who is faithful when we are faithless (2 Tim. 2:13). Give Him your heart. Pour everything you have upon him like a fine oil and He is the ONE that will NEVER take advantage of you, who will never forsake you, who will never leave you empty. He will fill you each day with the grace and love you need to give to others. He is the fountain that never runs dry. He is your source. So give up control. Give up your pride. Run to Him and love Him and let His love flow through you out into the world...and maybe someone will see this incredible love and be turned back to the Father.

Because Oh My Soul...How He loves.