Take a good look at yourself and knowYou've got yourself ways to goBut difficult is not impossibleYou can take back all the lost control
Take a good look at yourself and seeYou'll emerge eventuallyAs long as your heart's not too far goneFrom the only thing that can save you from yourself
Friday, November 30, 2012
Monday, November 19, 2012
Tremble
I'm bursting at the seams because of the insurmountable love of God.
There is just. There's nothing in this world that is worth holding on to when compared to the unexplainable depth of the greatness of God. His holiness. His justice. His grace and mercy.
"You love me, and that consumes me."
"It causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble."
Lovelovelovelovelovelove deep deep love! How He loves!
There is just. There's nothing in this world that is worth holding on to when compared to the unexplainable depth of the greatness of God. His holiness. His justice. His grace and mercy.
"You love me, and that consumes me."
"It causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble."
Lovelovelovelovelovelove deep deep love! How He loves!
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Green Pastures and Still Waters
Just a little reminiscing on the Greatness of God...
I really like to go to the park and go for walks by myself. It's so peaceful and it's really nice to just get away from the busy-ness of college life and just walk slowly for once, taking in the beauty around me.
There's also something very nostalgic about it for me. I've mentioned before that last summer was one of the hardest, driest seasons of my life. If I've ever been in a desert before, that was it. Every day was plagued by crippling anxiety. Even when everything was exactly how I wanted it, I still wasn't happy. I was debilitated by a fear that at any moment everything I loved could be stripped away from me. What I wanted had been ripped from my hands so many times, that I tightened my grip with an iron fist. I exerted so much energy holding onto the things I loved that I lost any energy to actually live. The pain I felt each morning was so present and real that I would wake up really early and wouldn't be able to fall back asleep because of the instant rush of anxiety that flooded my body the moment I opened my eyes. Thinking back to it now makes me realize that it is a miracle that I made it through this time in my life. There was one promise that I held onto, though:
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4
I longed so badly to be filled by Christ, but I couldn't find peace or satisfaction anywhere. I lived each day with the goal to simply get through it as quickly and painlessly as I could. I knew that the quicker I got through the day, the sooner I would finally get to the day when I would find rest.
Psalm 23:1-3
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
So over the course of the summer, this what was happening in my life. I had no idea what was happening, but in retrospect, I see the promises of God being fulfilled in amazing ways.
The greatest coping mechanism I had during this time was to get alone in nature. I would go ride my bike, pull off by a creek, and walk along it, into the woods to a secret place. There I would read the Word, pray, pour my anxieties out, and just wait on the Lord. These were the only moments of peace I found.
In this very place, God himself allured me, brought me into the wilderness, and spoke tenderly to me (Hosea 2). He led me beside the still waters and green pastures, and brought rest to my weary soul. And as he called me out, He asked something of me that I thought I couldn't give. The one thing I had so tightly in my grip that I wasn't willing to give up. But He asked for it. I couldn't believe that He could take it from me yet again, but God does the unthinkable. But the beautiful thing is that all this time of leading me by the still waters and speaking tender words of mercy to me, He was changing my heart. He was preparing me for a path that I couldn't walk alone. So when the day came that He asked for the same thing He asked for several times before and I wouldn't give, I was finally able to give it freely. And in this place, I surrendered.
And peace flooded my soul.
He led me in the path of righteousness, for his name's sake.
And he continues now to call me to the wilderness. He ministers to me daily, preparing my heart for the path ahead. I continue to seek solace in His creation, meeting with Him in the secret place. And now those walks alone in the woods by the creek are flooded with joy and new life. I walk with peace and rest.
It amazes me that God is so invested in us. He spends Himself daily to comfort us and prepare us for the way ahead. The way that leads to life, and life to the fullest (John 10:10).
Ohhh, how He loves!
I really like to go to the park and go for walks by myself. It's so peaceful and it's really nice to just get away from the busy-ness of college life and just walk slowly for once, taking in the beauty around me.
There's also something very nostalgic about it for me. I've mentioned before that last summer was one of the hardest, driest seasons of my life. If I've ever been in a desert before, that was it. Every day was plagued by crippling anxiety. Even when everything was exactly how I wanted it, I still wasn't happy. I was debilitated by a fear that at any moment everything I loved could be stripped away from me. What I wanted had been ripped from my hands so many times, that I tightened my grip with an iron fist. I exerted so much energy holding onto the things I loved that I lost any energy to actually live. The pain I felt each morning was so present and real that I would wake up really early and wouldn't be able to fall back asleep because of the instant rush of anxiety that flooded my body the moment I opened my eyes. Thinking back to it now makes me realize that it is a miracle that I made it through this time in my life. There was one promise that I held onto, though:
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4
I longed so badly to be filled by Christ, but I couldn't find peace or satisfaction anywhere. I lived each day with the goal to simply get through it as quickly and painlessly as I could. I knew that the quicker I got through the day, the sooner I would finally get to the day when I would find rest.
Psalm 23:1-3
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
So over the course of the summer, this what was happening in my life. I had no idea what was happening, but in retrospect, I see the promises of God being fulfilled in amazing ways.
The greatest coping mechanism I had during this time was to get alone in nature. I would go ride my bike, pull off by a creek, and walk along it, into the woods to a secret place. There I would read the Word, pray, pour my anxieties out, and just wait on the Lord. These were the only moments of peace I found.
In this very place, God himself allured me, brought me into the wilderness, and spoke tenderly to me (Hosea 2). He led me beside the still waters and green pastures, and brought rest to my weary soul. And as he called me out, He asked something of me that I thought I couldn't give. The one thing I had so tightly in my grip that I wasn't willing to give up. But He asked for it. I couldn't believe that He could take it from me yet again, but God does the unthinkable. But the beautiful thing is that all this time of leading me by the still waters and speaking tender words of mercy to me, He was changing my heart. He was preparing me for a path that I couldn't walk alone. So when the day came that He asked for the same thing He asked for several times before and I wouldn't give, I was finally able to give it freely. And in this place, I surrendered.
And peace flooded my soul.
He led me in the path of righteousness, for his name's sake.
And he continues now to call me to the wilderness. He ministers to me daily, preparing my heart for the path ahead. I continue to seek solace in His creation, meeting with Him in the secret place. And now those walks alone in the woods by the creek are flooded with joy and new life. I walk with peace and rest.
It amazes me that God is so invested in us. He spends Himself daily to comfort us and prepare us for the way ahead. The way that leads to life, and life to the fullest (John 10:10).
Ohhh, how He loves!
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Rivers of Joy
"You revive me.
you revive me lord
And all my deserts are rivers of joy
You are the treasure, I could not afford
So I'll spend myself till' I'm empty and poor
All for you, you revive me lord
Lord I have see your goodness
And I know the way you are
Give me eyes to see you in the dark
And your face shines of glory
That I only know in part
And there is still a longing
A longing in my heart
You revive me
You revive me lord
And all my deserts are rivers of joy
you are the treasure, I could not afford
So I'll spend myself till' I'm empty and poor
All for you, you revive me lord
My soul lord is thirsty
Only you can satisfy
You're the well that never will run dry
And I thank you for the blessing
Of calling me your friend
And in you name I'm lifting up my hands
I'm alive, I'm alive
You breathe on me, You revive me"
How He loves!
you revive me lord
And all my deserts are rivers of joy
You are the treasure, I could not afford
So I'll spend myself till' I'm empty and poor
All for you, you revive me lord
Lord I have see your goodness
And I know the way you are
Give me eyes to see you in the dark
And your face shines of glory
That I only know in part
And there is still a longing
A longing in my heart
You revive me
You revive me lord
And all my deserts are rivers of joy
you are the treasure, I could not afford
So I'll spend myself till' I'm empty and poor
All for you, you revive me lord
My soul lord is thirsty
Only you can satisfy
You're the well that never will run dry
And I thank you for the blessing
Of calling me your friend
And in you name I'm lifting up my hands
I'm alive, I'm alive
You breathe on me, You revive me"
How He loves!
Monday, November 5, 2012
I'm dying.
Sometimes I'm so filled and completely and passionately in love with my King that I think I might die.
That is all.
That is all.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
I'm in Love
I really wish I could explain to everyone how I feel right now.
Like, I wish I could just transfer all of my emotions into your very heart, put the spirit within me into your very bones.
There comes a point in life where you just can't go on with life without making a decision. For me, this point in my life has been the past few months.
It started with a broken heart and anger. God continually called me out, and over the past few months I have seen two paths emerge before me. Well. I've seen hundreds of paths come before me. With only one leading to the source of life.
Oh, if only I could explain how DEEP and FILLING and SATISFYING the Spirit of God is. I'm melting continuously in His embrace. I've known God since I was a child, but this is the first time in my life that I have DESIRED Him.
Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.
This was my heart's cry for so long, with impure intentions. But somehow God turns impurity into beauty...he takes our filthy rags and turns them into crowns of gold. He makes beautiful things out of us.
Man...you know, for SO LONG I just ran in complete opposition to God. It's like the lyric "I'd rather fight you for something I don't really want than accept what you give that I need."
That was totally my life for the past 18 years. But God is so undeniably and unbelievably faithful. His love astounds, astonishes, and blows me away. Every day. His gospel is fresh and his mercies are new every morning.
So I just had to gush about that for a bit. I so desire for everyone to partake of the glory of the gospel, because it is so infinitely sweet! On and on and on it goes! Yes, it overwhelms and satisfies my soul!
As C.S. Lewis said...
"I am in love, and out of it I will not go!"
And oh, how He loves!
Like, I wish I could just transfer all of my emotions into your very heart, put the spirit within me into your very bones.
There comes a point in life where you just can't go on with life without making a decision. For me, this point in my life has been the past few months.
It started with a broken heart and anger. God continually called me out, and over the past few months I have seen two paths emerge before me. Well. I've seen hundreds of paths come before me. With only one leading to the source of life.
Oh, if only I could explain how DEEP and FILLING and SATISFYING the Spirit of God is. I'm melting continuously in His embrace. I've known God since I was a child, but this is the first time in my life that I have DESIRED Him.
Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.
This was my heart's cry for so long, with impure intentions. But somehow God turns impurity into beauty...he takes our filthy rags and turns them into crowns of gold. He makes beautiful things out of us.
Man...you know, for SO LONG I just ran in complete opposition to God. It's like the lyric "I'd rather fight you for something I don't really want than accept what you give that I need."
That was totally my life for the past 18 years. But God is so undeniably and unbelievably faithful. His love astounds, astonishes, and blows me away. Every day. His gospel is fresh and his mercies are new every morning.
So I just had to gush about that for a bit. I so desire for everyone to partake of the glory of the gospel, because it is so infinitely sweet! On and on and on it goes! Yes, it overwhelms and satisfies my soul!
As C.S. Lewis said...
"I am in love, and out of it I will not go!"
And oh, how He loves!
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